Surviving Life After College

Thoughts About the Real World

The Worst Book of the Year

by Leave a Comment

A few months ago I found a book that looked like a standard cozy mystery. It had a cat on the cover, lots of colors, and just that aura of “this is a book you can read quickly and relax with.” Winter was hard on my spirits, so over the next few weeks I would look at that book and think, I’m so excited to read that… soon. Then there was news that Coronavirus was on the rise in China and I was finished with some other, more serious, books. It was time for that good cozy read.

The Accidental Florist

The Accidental Florist is by Jill Churchill, and it’s the sixteenth book in the Jane Jeffry series. Had I known that before I started reading, I may have had different expectations. In fact, in my research now I see that this book ended the series. Coincidence? What drew me to the book though was that Churchill was the recipient of the Agatha and Macavity Awards for the first Jane Jeffry novel. I was really looking forward to a light, well-plotted murder mystery.

The book follows Jane Jeffry and her friend Shelley as they plan Jane’s wedding to her detective boyfriend Mel. Along the way, Mel asks them to take a self-defense course, and after a few sessions the instructor is murdered. In typical cozy fashion, we don’t see the gruesome details, but here’s where the plot gets a little strange for a book that is supposedly a mystery. Jane and Shelley have very little to do with solving the murder and Mel fills them in after the crime has been solved. This book is more about how boring Jane’s everyday life is than about her ingenuity when faced with murder.

Within the first twenty pages I could easily tell this book wasn’t what I’d had in mind. The beginning of chapter two involves some riveting Starbucks talk between Jane and Shelley:

‘I have coffee brewing. I found a new brand at a Starbucks in Kansas. A hint of hazelnut flavoring, I think. But not saying so on the container. Want to try it out with me?’

‘Sure,’ Shelley said, pitching her own newspaper on her kitchen porch. […]

‘This coffee is good. I wonder if our own Starbucks carries it as well?’

‘I’ve always just had their mocha when I buy it there. We’ll have to go look and see next time we stop by.”

Maybe this is the beginning of the mystery part of the novel? They’ll go to Starbucks and get great service, and then one of the customers dies mysteriously? No. This is just the brand of bland conversation Churchill employs shamelessly in this book.

Treatment of Women

Maybe I was too annoyed with the book to give Jill Churchill the benefit of the doubt, but I thought the book also belied some biases I wasn’t interested in hearing about. 

‘Todd, my dear son, sometimes old ladies turn mean. If I do, promise you’ll stash me away somewhere.’

Later, speaking about the same character:

Ted added, with perfect honesty, that she was a difficult person. Not friendly at all.

‘We are equipped to deal with women like that,’ the manager said with a smile.

And in a moment discussing the evil future mother-in-law:

‘I’ve dealt with women like this before and know how to keep them in their proper places.’

Maybe I’m being pedantic, but two of the people uttering these quotes are running businesses and would be more accurate and neutral if they simply said, “people like that.” Old ladies can turn mean though, and mothers-in-law are problematic, and Jane only rarely even considers being the bigger woman when dealing with her deceased husband’s mother or her future husband’s mother. And to what end? It’s no new plot device to have a difficult mother-in-law ruining the wedding or trying to steal the inheritance. Anyone can be difficult, but what makes me uncomfortable is the infighting and “women like that” attitudes the author unknowingly endorses throughout the book.

Final Thoughts

I have never read a mystery where so little happens, or where I felt less interested in the wedding the book focuses on. Even reflecting on the book again tires me, and I’m reminded of my hunger for a mystery. I cannot stress enough how uninspired the plot of the book was, or how much of the book involves Jane narrating her dull life. I am perhaps giving the book too much credit (and I certainly don’t have the actual evidence for it) when I say The Accidental Florist reads like it could be fan fiction for the Jane Jeffry series. Skip this book and read something better. 

 

Piles of Books

by Leave a Comment

This year brought an unexpected change in my life.  After four and a half years living in my apartment, I had to move.  I have a hard time with change, so sometimes a kick in the pants from fate is exactly what I need.  It was challenging, and I think my cat misses his squirrels, but as of January 31 I am all moved in to a new place.

That sounds relatively straightforward.  In reality, there were a lot of emotions and an overwhelming sense of “where did all this crap come from?!”  I am impressed by book collectors who whittle their collections down after moving once or twice.  Even after hours of carrying bags and bags and boxes and bags of books down and up stairs, I mostly felt inspired to read more (albeit with the goal of giving away books after having read them).  

Tsundoku

In the midst of my move, as Marie Kondo’s Netflix show alternately threatened or inspired readers across the country, I read an article about tsundoku.  This is a Japanese word for the collection of books you build up on a shelf or bedside table waiting to be read.  What a useful word!  The article collected photos of people’s tsundoku, too.  Some people had hundreds of books waiting to be read.  But many people had five, ten, or maybe thirty. 

Even reflecting on those people now, I’m kind of baffled.  A life with few books is not necessarily a life I would want, but part of me does wonder how that would feel.  The restraint, the free shelf space.  As a person who rarely rereads books, I’ll give away most of the books I own after I’ve read them.  The joy I get from books is partly the anticipation of a good read and partly the act of reading.

Tsundoku
One small part of my tsundoku.

Moving my books to a new apartment made me more aware of what I have in my collection.  While I’ve only read two of my own books since moving (hey, I’ve read a lot of library books so far this year), I’m feeling inspired to read locally more often.  I read an advance copy of a book, and I’m especially happy to give it away knowing it was not my cup of tea.  I read a short parable about cats.  And now I’m happily enjoying an Ellery Queen novel that was printed during World War II.  This book in particular reminds me that reading is such a joy.  

At the end of the day, that’s what Marie Kondo seems to want for her clients and people in general: a home comprised of things that make them happy.  When your pile of books gets to be too overwhelming, or is a carrier for emotional baggage, that’s the time to rethink your collection.  I’m spending quite a bit of time this year thinking about the pleasure of reading.  Here’s to a guilt-free, joy-inspiring tsundoku!

Not Just Enduring Endurance Sports

by 3 Comments

A few weeks ago, I ran a 50k race.  That’s roughly 31 miles.  I don’t think of myself as a crazy person, but the look on some people’s faces when I tell them about it says otherwise.  What I wish I could convey to them, though, is the amazing feeling I get from long distance running.  I remember running a few miles to stay or get in shape during college or in the few years afterwards.  It was something I did for the outcome.  Calories burned, maybe a little rush of endorphins.  Inevitably, I would get sick with a cold because of the freezing winter air, and then I’d give up running again.

Then, a few years ago, my friend at work asked me to run a leg in a marathon relay.  “Yeesh.  Ok, well I can sign on for one of the shorter legs.  I could definitely work up to running four miles.”

Over the course of the week, I got bumped up to a six mile leg.  “If that’s what I have to do for the team.”

A week later, my friend told me we would just sign up for the ten mile race.  That way we wouldn’t have to rely on the team members all showing up for the race.  “I can try, but that’s farther than I’ve ever run before.  I don’t know if I can do it.”

Wearing my finisher’s medal after my 10 mile run.

But I did, and I felt like I had enough energy for a few more miles.  It was an amazing feeling.  I ran through Denver, being cheered on by the masses, running through Mile High Stadium, and generally feeling badass.  All of which spurred me to run my first half marathon (with lots of help from my uncle, who ran with me for several miles), and eventually my first marathon.  The marathon was quite an experience.  People voiced their amazement when I talked about my training, but I was training with my friend, which made it seem much more manageable.  A lot of people have running a marathon on their bucket lists these days, so it seemed relatively understandable to friends and family.

As soon as I could, I signed up for another half marathon, a year from my marathon in the same race series.  And I had the feeling that I could do even better if I ran another marathon.  But along the way to signing up for another I had a niggling thought: “I could run a 50k.  It’s only five more miles.”  The road to a 50k, at least in my case, was a relatively slow progression.  Ten miles is crazy!  Oh, I did it.  A half marathon feels so far!  Well, too bad, you already signed up for a marathon, so you better be able to manage it.  Before I knew it, I was the crazy person who was excited for a 50k.  A 50k run on a loop course, where each loop was 1.3 miles long.  Meaning I would run 24 laps.  Life is strange.

The 50k

To talk about my whole experience of my first 50k might be boring.  But I will.  (Ok, only highlights.)  It was a Saturday of wet snow, in Brighton, Colorado, at a park.  I was nervous about the weather and the distance, but also ready to see where my training would get me.  The first two hours were great, other than losing my phone by the end of the second loop, and regaining it at the aid station later.  Because of the snow and resulting puddles on the course, I was soaked within the first few laps.  Luckily, though, I wasn’t too hot or cold.  My goal was to try to keep going, and spend as little time as possible under cover at the aid station.  Better to avoid any temptation to quit or take my time, and instead relax at the end.

The third hour started to feel more difficult.  For me, the midpoint of any race is a mental struggle.  The first third of the race, I can tell myself, “Cool!  Five laps down, and feeling strong.  Just 19 more!”  But then I get to the middle third, and start getting tired.  It’s much harder then to say that to myself, because my reaction is, “Oh my god, I don’t know why I’m doing this anymore.  What is my life?  This is taking forever.”  So this race I had a plan to listen to “Anna Faris Is Unqualified,” a podcast, when things got tough.  I got to spend the 45 minutes before my phone died laughing at Sim, Anna, and their guest, not thinking about each step of the race so seriously.

Along the way, halfway through my 50k.

That kept me feeling positive just long enough for my amazing friends to show up with signs and loud cheering.  They helped me at the aid station with changing my soaking socks, lent me wool gloves, and remained upbeat in the face of my exhaustion.  I felt, and still feel, so grateful for their support and presence.

The last two hours were probably the hardest, with a little more walking.  I didn’t walk as much as I expected to, and I tried to always run by my friends.  It helped to take advantage of that positive energy.  And of course, I finished strong.  I ran as hard as I could for the last quarter lap, so I would know that I put everything into that race that I possibly could.  And then I ate chili and hot chocolate with my friends.  Even though it might seem strange, I loved running that race and seeing that I had it in me.  For those of you who are crazy too, I would highly recommend the Runs with Scissors race.

I celebrated, and came home to flowers from a very nice man.  A month later, I’m ready for a half marathon.  It will be slow, but fun.  Gradually over the last several months I have finally started to think of myself as a runner.  It’s almost time to find the next adventure.

At the aid station after the Runs with Scissors 50k.

Saying Goodbye

by 1 Comment

Five and almost a half years ago, I had my first day of work at a new job as a shelver for the library.  I was so excited to start a new job, and I remember celebrating with friends on the night I got the offer.  On my first day at work, I was quickly shown around the library.  “Here’s the children’s DVD shelving, here’s the juvenile nonfiction, here are the early readers….  Okay, so that’s the library.  Go ahead and shelve a cart.  Let us know if you have a question.”

At that point, I was still working part time at the Acrapolis, sanding drywall, digging up sumac roots, and generally remodeling.  Then I eventually got a second position at the library that gave me full-time hours, which brought with it more changes than I had expected.  New coworkers, tough hours, and some new responsibilities that were somewhat divisive.  I learned about good leadership and work politics.  Then I got into graduate school, and got a new supervisor.  Grad school had its own challenges, but I was able to take on new responsibilities at work and connect with great people.

Five and a half years feels like so much and so little time.  I’m three weeks into a new professional position, and it’s hard to imagine ever feeling so lost in my last two positions.  While it is great to use my degree and work with a good team, I have also been missing my former coworkers and the comfort of competency.  The challenge is exciting though.  There are already new projects and ideas I’m in charge of, and I’m ready to prove myself.  Here’s to an exciting next five years.

Celebrating the New

Here are a few new items that don’t have anything in common, other than being newly released on DVD or in print.  I recently spent several weeks reading and watching a lot of content.  Enjoy!

  • Marshall

Based on Thurgood Marshall’s career early in his life, Marshall follows one particular case for which he provided a defense through the NAACP.  An African American chauffeur was charged with raping the white woman he drove, and Marshall’s job was to make sure he got a fair trial in spite of his color.  Marshall is a charming character who adds humor and dignity to this story.  In spite of the serious issues of racism and the severity of the alleged crime, the movie is accessible and, of course, remains relevant to today’s political climate.  I would recommend it.

  • Coco

Coco is an excellent film, full of color and energy.  Miguel wants to be a musician like his idol Ernesto de la Cruz, but his grandmother has forbidden music in their family.  Her grandfather left the family to try to become a famous musician.  Still, Miguel wants so badly to play that he borrows Ernesto’s guitar from his tomb.  Having stolen from the dead, he needs a blessing from his family before dawn in order to counteract the curse he incurred and return home from the land of the dead.  This is a great movie about intergenerational relationships and music.  It’s one of the best films I’ve seen for a while.

  • Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann

David Grann, the author of The Lost City of Z, recently wrote this nonfiction book about the oil boom in the Osage Nation during the 1920s, and the multitude of murders that took place there.  With the oil boom, the Osage had vast amounts of money at their disposal.  They had maids and mansions, and the towns were thriving.  Then the murders started.  People were shot, houses were blown up, and no one felt safe.  Grann talks about the tensions between the Osage and the American government in this narrative nonfiction.  Killers of the Flower Moon is a discouraging look at American history, and an important story.  I didn’t enjoy this book nearly as much as Grann’s previous book though, and if you choose to read it, I would strongly recommend not listening to the audiobook.  It was narrated by three people, none of whom seemed right for the role.

  • The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

Wang’s graphic novel is a beautiful story of young love, acceptance, and fashion.  After designing a controversial dress for the prince’s ball, a young dressmaker is invited to work at the palace.  She finds that she has been hired to create dresses for the prince.  By day, the prince endures his parents’ search for his future bride, but by night he wears the incredible dresses at public events.  This book is so colorfully illustrated, and the story is an ode to fashion.  But it also shares an idealism and hope that is contagious.  I highly recommend this book.

I’ll be back again soon with more recommendations.  Until then, have fun reading!

Women in Thrillers

by 1 Comment

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about a book that drove me nuts: Little Lamb of Heaven.  Since then, I went to ALA Midwinter, deliberately avoided picking up the new Lydia Millet book, and proceeded to accept a few new thrillers which were thrust upon me.  I just finished listening to one of these, The Wife Between Us, by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen.  If you like thrillers, you might be interested in this one.  Written from two perspectives, this book follows a broken, jilted woman, and a young woman who is engaged to marry her perfect fiance.  As the story unfolds, it becomes clear that nothing is as the reader assumes.

For me, this book just confirms my sense that maybe I shouldn’t read any more thrillers.  While it was much more engaging and fast-paced than Lydia Millet’s book, and it was a good one to listen to in the car, not all the plot twists surprised me.  It also had so many twists that I eventually expected them.  As with Little Lamb of Heaven, The Wife Between Us is “domestic suspense,” which seems to be code for abusive husband.  Sorry, maybe that was a spoiler?  Part of me is starting to think if you read thrillers often you should probably be expecting that.  I can’t go into detail about the issues I had with this book without spoiling it, and since it was a decent book, I won’t do that.  But I will talk about the issues of violence against female characters in thrillers and the way female thriller writers today are depicted.

Violence and Women in Thrillers

Happily, I am not alone in my distaste for this tendency in thrillers to feature violence toward women.  The Staunch Book Prize was launched this year to award books “in the thriller genre in which no woman is beaten, stalked, sexually exploited, raped or murdered” (para. 1).  The website’s “About” page states:

We launched the Staunch Book Prize because we felt that there’s just such an overload of violence towards women in fiction. When women in the real world are fighting sexual abuse and violence, or being murdered because they’re women, the casual and endless depiction of  women as victims sits uneasily alongside their fight. (para. 2)

I’ve mentioned this award to a few people in conversation, and every one of them said something like, “There won’t be any thrillers to award by the time they’ve eliminated all the ones with violence toward women.”  An entire genre exists in Western culture in which violence toward women is not only common, but expected.  Doesn’t that say something twisted about our society?

In 2016 Emily St. John Mandel wrote an article about the preponderance of books with the word “girl” in the title.  Aside from the sheer volume of them, Mandel’s most surprising finding was in relation to the fate of the main character of these books.

When Mandel accounted for the author’s gender in books with “girl” in the title, she found that men are significantly more likely to kill off or otherwise get rid of the girl.

When Mandel looked at the author’s gender in relation to these stories, she found that men were much more likely to give the title’s “girl” a violent end.  Mandel wrote that she wasn’t able to find a reason for this.  Is the “girl” issue a problem with publishers, authors, or societal expectations?  So far, I’ve discussed Mandel’s article in terms of violence toward women in these books, but a much larger issue might be the use of the term “girl” for primarily full-grown women.  Women have been relabeled as girls, and perhaps as a consequence they become the victims of their own books.

Female Writers

Even women as crime writers get the short end of the stick sometimes.  In a dismissive article written for The Atlantic, Terrence Rafferty wrote about the trend Gone Girl created, and how modern female writers are changing readers’ expectations for mysteries.  He wrote:

Unlike Highsmith and Rendell, who preferred to ply their sinister craft in a dry, deadpan third person, writers of the current school tend to favor a volatile mixture of higher-pitched first-person tones: hectoring, accusatory, self-justifying, a little desperate. Reading these tricky 21st-century thrillers can be like scrolling through an especially heated comments thread on a Web site, or wandering unawares into a Twitter feud. Down these mean tweets a woman must go … (para. 11)

All right, Terrence.  Somehow he comes to the conclusion, despite such statements, that women are writing the best crime fiction right now.  When our expectations for mysteries and thrillers are so low, or when we disparage the efforts of women writers in the genre, we lose sight of the most important aspect of fiction.  Fiction at its best can shine a light on our expectations as a society, and offer new perspectives.  Particularly now, while we are more aware of gender issues, I would like to see more thrillers with strong women characters, who don’t have to be broken before society will listen to them.

References

Mandel, E. S. J. (2016, October 27). The gone girl with the dragon tattoo on the train. FiveThirtyEight. Retrieved from https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-gone-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-on-the-train/

Rafferty, T. (2016, July/August). Women are writing the best crime novels. The Atlantic. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/07/women-are-writing-the-best-crime-novels/485576/

Staunch Book Prize. (2018). About. Retrieved from http://staunchbookprize.com/about-2/

Wrapping Up NaNoReMo: Reading Habits

by Leave a Comment

I’ve almost finished my month of reading three hours a day.  National Novel Reading Month taught me a few lessons about my own reading habits: I don’t read as much as I thought I did, I am more likely to read a lot on weekdays, and I gravitate toward shorter books.

I think of myself as someone who spends a lot of time reading, and while I still believe that is true, I know now that I don’t naturally read for hours a day.  During the week, I most consistently read while I’m eating lunch at work.  In the evenings and weekends, I gravitate toward movies and television shows.  I want something light and easily digested, because I feel sapped after work.  So when I started my month of reading, I found myself reading a lot of genre fiction that was fast and fun.

Contrary to my hope, I did not tackle the longer books on my reading list this month.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but it also made me wonder about my reading habits.  Maybe I want that gratification of finishing a book sooner and checking it off my list.   Or maybe I have so many books in my apartment right now that I am compelled to clear things out faster.  It could be a little of both.

My hope for this next few months is to focus a little more on reading books that are at least 400 pages long.  I still want to read graphic novels and shorter books, but I also want to get swept up by stories that I can really sink my teeth into.

I’m boring myself talking about my own reading habits, so I’ll spend the rest of this post talking about other people’s reading habits.

The History of Reading In Three Articles

Blackbeard Read About the South Seas

Blackbeard or some of his fellow pirates apparently enjoyed reading about sailing adventures.

This article from the National Geographic reports an archaeological find from the Queen Anne’s Revenge, Blackbeard’s ship.  Archaeologists recently found fragments of book pages in the chamber of one of the ship’s cannons.  The fragments that still had legible text were identified as pages from A Voyage to the South Sea by Captain Edward Cooke (para. 10).  According to the article, at least some pirates were literate, and Blackbeard may have kept a diary (para. 12).

James Buchanan Had a Reading-Related Death Wish

James Buchanan constantly read with a candle, which worried everyone.

Michael S. Rosenwald wrote this article about presidential reading habits for the Washington Post.  In light of Trump’s admissions that he doesn’t read, Rosenwald compared his reading habits to those of past presidents.  He wrote:

Trump’s reading habits, when ranked against previous presidents, place him about near Zachary Taylor, who may have been illiterate, and far, far away from Republican Teddy Roosevelt, who read entire books before breakfast, which sometimes consisted of 12 eggs. (para. 10)

Twelve eggs?  Holy cow.

Rosenwald also discussed James Buchanan, a voracious reader, who insisted on always reading with a candle right beside the page, to the extent that his family was worried about him setting fire to the house.  This article made me want to learn so much more about presidents’ reading.

Reading Alone is Dangerous

A reading of Voltaire in Madame Geoffrin’s salon in 1812.

Finally, I came across this article about the advent of silent reading.  Some scholars argue that until the 19th century nobody read silently, but rather shared the text with everyone in the room (para. 3).  This in itself may be unsurprising, but the author discussed some of the historical context for this shift, and why it precipitated a change in the content we read.  My favorite line:

Silent reading by the late 19th century was so popular that people worried that women in particular, reading alone in bed, were prone to sexy, dangerous thoughts. (para. 14)

Enjoy your reading this week!  You’re in good company: Blackbeard read, Roosevelt read, Trump doesn’t read.  Read dangerously, and maybe even loudly.

ALA Midwinter

by 1 Comment

Advance Reader Copy, or ARC.  My favorite acronym, and the thing that has been getting me into trouble lately.  An ARC is a book that hasn’t been published yet, but publishers have printed its uncorrected version so librarians, booksellers, and other people in the industry can read and help promote it.  ALA Midwinter was everything I wanted: lots of cool posters featuring book art, good book talks from publishers, great conversations with librarian friends.  And most of all, more ARCs than you can even imagine.  It was amazing.

Then I got home and remembered I live in a small apartment.  Let me explain how publishers behave at conferences, so you can better understand the quandary I got myself into.  The people who man different publishers’ booths are basically selling you on taking a copy of their book.  You walk by, and the books are stacked on the floor, or displayed on tables, usually with someone nearby to give a quick book talk.  “This is one of my favorites we’re publishing this spring.  It’s a cross between Pretty Little Liars and Harry Potter.  There’s a school where students learn magic, and the main character finds a body on the school grounds…”  And so forth.

All the books sound interesting, and even if you are trying to be rational and not pick up too many books, people tell you, “Now, I don’t want to be a pusher, but I have to insist you take this book.  It is the best book I’ve read this year.  [Description of book.]  And we love the author, she’s so funny and passionate.  Here, let me just put this in your bag for you.”

So, now you understand the incredible temptation, here is my confession:

There are a few library books here too, but for the most part these are all ARCs.

I brought home so many books.  In the picture above, the ARCs are all stacked on my coffee table, there to stay until I finish them or put them in an inconvenient stack somewhere else.  Oh man.

In the meantime, I have been reading as fast as I can to manage this increase in reading materials.  So here are a few books that are either out or coming soon.

Some Random Fantasy ARCs

  • Dreaming Dangerous by Lauren DeStefano (Coming July 3, 2018)

Plum, Vien, Gwendle, and Artem attend a school for children with special abilities.  The four of them share their dreams almost every night, and fight the monsters they come across there.  After their dreams start to change, though, Artem goes missing, and the others try to find out what’s going on.  This mid-grade novel is fun, and while the climax was not quite what I would have hoped, I would still recommend it.

  • The Unicorn Rescue Society: The Creature of the Pines by Adam Gidwitz (Coming April 10, 2018)

Elliot moves to a new school just in time to go on a field trip on his first day.  After a rocky start, he and Uchenna become friends, and they have to work together when they find a Jersey Devil in the woods.  The advance copy of this book doesn’t have much of the final artwork, but I suspect it will be just as entertaining as the story.  This would be a great book for maybe a fourth or fifth grader.  It has a fast pace, and counts among its characters a professor, villains, and a mythical creature.  ‘Nough said.

  • W.I.T.C.H.: The Twelve Portals, Volume 1 by Disney

This is a graphic novel about four friends’ discovery that they have magic powers and are able to transform into fairies.  As thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds, the four girls struggle to survive school and save the world from invasion by people from other dimensions.

What I didn’t know before reading this is that W.I.T.C.H. is a whole franchise, with a show that ran from 2004 to 2006, and other graphic novels.  And yet… I still think Disney needs to update this series to reflect today’s trends.  I was surprised to see nudity, but I was much more disheartened by the girls’ excitement over their fairy bodies.  When the girls transform into fairies, they are hypersexualized, with full figures and scant clothing.  In a time when stories like Princeless (which bucks traditional gender norms) are being written and receiving awards, do we really need a new story that deals with body image in this old-fashioned way?

That’s this week in ARCs.  Join us next week for something completely different!

 

Sometimes You Hate Read a Book

by Leave a Comment

I’m two weeks into the month of NaNoReMo, and I’ll admit, it’s tough trying to read three hours a day.  It has taught me that I watch too much TV, and it has become clear that I don’t read nearly as much as I thought.  Also, that pile of books I’m waiting to read?  Yeah, that’s going to take much longer than I’m willing to admit.  To put a nail in the coffin of my addiction, I went to ALA Midwinter this past weekend, which was great!  Except I gladly walked away with bags of books to read.  Books I have no room for.  You try turning down free books that haven’t even been published yet!

February is a good month for reading light books that don’t feel too serious.  It feels cold enough outside without reading Nordic noir.  So I began the month with some graphic novel collections of superhero comics, and a fantasy/adventure/romance steampunk novel.  Then I read the worst book I’ve read in 2018.

The Worst Book of 2018 

There is a breed of smart people who read a certain amount of a book and can say, “Okay, enough.  I don’t want to read this.”  And then they put it down and walk away forever.  Then there are the other people, who slog through bad books for whatever crazy reason, and seem to expect a participation award, or some brownie points, or something, for finishing the damn book.  That’s me.  Eventually, I will learn to let go, but for now…

Don’t read this.

Anna is a young mother with a lot of problems.  She has a daughter her husband never wanted her to have, a husband who is at the very least emotionally abusive, and she used to hear voices that came from her daughter before she could talk.  Where to start?

It’s hard to describe this book, so bear with me.  Written by Lydia Millet, this book is a thriller with a fairly slow pace, given the numerous digressions from what is actually happening.  Anna has a daughter, Lena, and before Lena can speak, Anna hears a never ending voice.  Once Lena is older and the voice has gone away, Anna decides she can’t live with Ned (her husband) anymore.  Having put up with his affairs, lack of interest in Lena, and manipulation for too long, she finally puts together a plan and leaves.  What follows is an exploration into what the voices are, and an attempt to finally get away from Ned for good.

What probably bothered me the most about this book was the way in which Ned and Anna’s relationship is treated.  While I understand that in any toxic relationship the abused partner may feel guilty and conflicted about leaving, I think Millet wrote Anna’s confusing reaction to certain events just to get to the climax.  Spoiler: Ned kidnaps Lena to make Anna follow his rules.  After days of panic and heartbreak, Anna gets Lena back, and yet later she is able to delude herself into thinking Ned will just let her divorce him after he gets what he wants.

Anna doesn’t think anyone is taking Ned seriously before he kidnaps Lena.  When he does that, and she finally has Lena back, she begins to be suspicious of her new friends’ concern about him.  They beg her to be reasonable and assume Ned has the house bugged (which he’s done before), and that he won’t let her divorce him.  She thinks:

I’d registered when we first walked in that the house was probably set up for surveillance, I had no reason to think otherwise, but then I’d conveniently forgotten.  I still have the habit from my old life of not feeling watched, somehow, a habit that’s been hard to cast off even after I was roofied and had my child stolen–I can be paranoid one minute and the next relapse into my lifelong, previous routine of feeling unwatched. (p. 171)

What a load of crap.  Throughout the rest of the book she talks about her fear of being watched, and how she and her daughter move consistently to stay away from Ned.  Going from being terrified of Ned following her and bugging her room to feeling unwatched is not what happens!  In my opinion, this is an example either of a writer changing her character to allow for plot development, or using a clunky plot device to make readers more thrilled.  I really don’t buy it.

I’m not even sure I understood this book in the way Lydia Millet meant.  My impression at the end of the book was that the story is ultimately about the way in which technology and language have distanced us from God/a higher entity.  But Millet seems to bite off more than she can chew, with a psychological thriller about a family’s difficulties combined with a book about philosophy and the implications of our modern world.  Barbara Hoffert wrote a review of the book for Library Journal, and I think she put it well in her verdict: “Compelling in parts, but with Anna’s very real battles with Ned deflected by fuzzy meditation, not successful as a whole” (Vol. 141, issue 6, p. 85).  So please, do yourself a favor and don’t add this one to your reading list.  If you’re dying for a good book, I’ll be back next week!

Librarians in Pop Culture

by 1 Comment

When I was in college, I worked at the campus library part-time.  It was a great position, and it led to my interest in continuing to work in libraries.  It also resulted in at least one weird conversation I can recall.  After dating a guy for a few months in college, he admitted that when I first said I worked at the library, he thought of a bar called The Library.  Fortunately, I didn’t know much about it until I did some research for this post.  I’m not sure a bar could do a better job of perpetuating the sexy librarian stereotype.  Argh.

The building itself is admittedly pretty cool, but that’s where it ends.

As fellow librarians might know, this weekend the American Library Association had its midwinter conference in Denver.  The conference is usually attended by over 10,000 people (American Library Association, 2018), and I attended this year, just to see what the fuss was about.  Publishing companies and vendors for libraries were there, along with authors and special committee members.  And while some of the librarians there may have the stereotypical librarian look, it becomes clear very quickly that librarians are a diverse group, with modern sensibilities and attitudes.

Barbara Gordon
Barbara Gordon (Batgirl) in her stereotypical librarian outfit.

What do I mean by “stereotypical librarian”?  There are usually two ways in which librarians are depicted in pop culture.  The first is the strict, shhing old maid.  Think of Mary from It’s a Wonderful Life, who became a librarian and never married in the world where George Bailey didn’t exist.  The second stereotype is the sexy librarian.  She may be uptight and conservative on the outside, but if she lets loose a little and undoes the bobby pins in her bun, she is incredibly attractive.  For an example of this stereotype, think of a librarian like Evelyn Carnahan in The Mummy.

Librarians everywhere have commented on these stereotypes for the last hundred years, so I won’t go on too long.  Suffice it to say, these stereotypes can be damaging, and reek of old-fashioned attitudes and ignorance.  Librarians are just the same kinds of people as everyone else.

Librarians in New Zealand who have a sense of humor.

With that, I’ll leave you with a short list of recommendations that all have librarians among their characters.  Enjoy!

Recommendations

  • Batgirl: A Celebration of 50 Years

I never knew that Barbara Gordon had been a librarian until I read this collection of Batgirl comics.  This is a well curated collection, but there are some comics in it that reflect a more sexist time.  At one point, Batgirl keeps getting distracted by her “instinctive female reaction.”  Which is to say, she stops in the middle of fights to brush mud off her costume and straighten her mask.  On the whole, though, this is a fun introduction to Batgirl and her various incarnations.

  • The Librarians

This is a fun show about librarians who are chosen to protect magical artifacts from people who will use them for evil purposes.  While I enjoy watching the show, I have to say that I preferred the movies it is based on.  The first of these was The Librarian: Quest for the Spear.  Yes, these were made-for-television movies, but Noah Wyle plays a larger role in the movies, and that makes them even more entertaining.

  • This Beautiful Fantastic

Bella is a neurotic, incredibly introverted woman who works at a library but wants to become a writer.  Because of a threat from her landlord to evict her, she and her bitter older neighbor find themselves in an unlikely truce.  This is a magical movie, with a good story and memorable characters.  It reminded me of Amelie in some ways.

References

American Library Association. (2018). ALA midwinter meeting fact sheet. Retrieved from http://www.ala.org/news/mediapresscenter/factsheets/alamidwinter

#NaNoReMo; or, Reading in 2018

by 2 Comments

At the beginning of this year, I read a blog post at work in which a librarian reflected on reading 365 books in 2017.  It was already the sixth or seventh day of the new year, luckily.  Otherwise I might have been tempted to make an unreasonable goal for the year.  I am a librarian by trade, and I can call it professional development when I obsess about reading.  So far this year, I have only read nine books.  You may ask, “What are you doing with yourself?  How have you only read nine books?  It’s the end of January already!”  To which I am tempted to respond, “I’ve been training for my 50k.”  Only, the cold weather and illness took me out of training this past week.  It’s time to up my reading game.

During the last week of 2017, I decided I need to get rid of some books this year.  In order to do this, I put together a box of books that I can read and then give away.  So far I’m two books in.  There’s still hope for me… I hope.  A recent calculation of the books on my immediate reading list put it just over 20,300 pages.  If my reading list doesn’t change at all, I should be able to get through all that this year!  Just to have some fun in the cold, holiday-less months ahead, I have decided to announce: NaNoReMo.

NaNoReMo
National Novel Reading Month: Just read three hours a day every day.

Yes, that is a totally made up month, and yes, it’s just an irreverent nod to NaNoWriMo.  National Novel Reading Month.  Really, the onus is on you guys to make it a national occasion.  How does it work?  For the month of February, I will read for three hours a day, along with anyone who wants to do the same.  At least for me, this is not a sustainable long-term goal, but anyone can do something for a month.  That’s the only rule: read what you want without distractions for three hours a day.

By February, most people who made New Year’s resolutions have abandoned them, so it can be good to reframe these goals.  Whether your goal is to watch less television, read more, or get rid of clutter, NaNoReMo can help.  Consider this a fun project to reconnect with books and the reading community.  What are you waiting for?  Go make a pot of tea and get to reading.  I’d love to hear how NaNoReMo works for you, and I’ll be posting a follow-up later in the month.

Women in Comics Part 2

by Leave a Comment

This week we’ll continue our discussion of women in comics that began with the post about Harley Quinn.  In the world of superheroes, comics, and graphic novels, there exists a phrase: women in refrigerators.  The very fact that there is a name for this trope is problematic, but let me back up a moment and define it for you.  Gail Simone coined the phrase women in refrigerators to identify the trope she first noticed in Green Lantern.  “Kyle Rayner, the title hero, comes home to his apartment to find that his girlfriend, Alexandra DeWitt, had been killed by the villain Major Force and stuffed into a refrigerator” (“Women in Refrigerators,” para. 1).

The OG woman in the refrigerator.

Women in refrigerators refer to female characters in comics who are killed off or attacked just to further the male superheroes’ story arcs.  Independently of their men, the characters sometimes do almost nothing for the story, and at best have no depth of character.  Simone wrote a long list of fridged female superheroes in comics in order to open a dialogue about the related issues of female readership in comics and the treatment of male and female characters.

How are we treating women in comics?  What does this say about societal norms and expectations?  Gail Simone’s list helped some comic writers reevaluate how women are treated in their stories.  Other writers became defensive.  Over the last several years, however, there have been some genuine changes in the industry.  Not all women in comics suffer gruesome ends, nor are they sex objects.  So if you are interested in giving comics a chance, here are a few recommendations I have for you.  Unlike my last post, this list includes graphic novels that are appropriate for children and teenagers (I still enjoyed them though).

Recommended Reads

  • Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Vol. 1: BFF

Moon Girl, Lunella Lafayette, is a fourth grader who happens to be the smartest person on Earth.  After she accidentally teleports a dinosaur to the present day, the two form an unlikely team to fight crime.  This series offers a nice change of pace from more serious superhero stories, with colorful illustrations and know-it-all fourth grader attitude.   Lunella is smart, entertaining, and looks like a normal preteen.

  • The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Vol. 1: Squirrel Power

Eatin’ nuts and kickin’ butts!  Squirrel Girl is just starting college, studying computer science by day and fighting crime by night.  Hiding her tail in her jeans leads to some great conversations around body image, and she is an intelligent woman who isn’t afraid to show it.  While Squirrel Girl is entertaining in her own right, what really makes this comic shine is the writers’ humorous commentary on the bottom of each page.  Even if you don’t like squirrels or computer science, please give this series a try.

  • Ms. Marvel, Vol. 1: No Normal

If this list of recommendations shows anything, it is that recent graphic novels do have diverse characters, though for the most part that is not the main focus of these characters’ story arcs.  Ms. Marvel, Kamala Khan, is a high schooler who, like Lunella Lafayette, has Inhuman genes.  She has always looked up to Carol Danvers, the original Ms. Marvel, and once she gains her powers, she takes up the name to honor her hero.  Kamala struggles with issues of identity throughout these comics, and goes through the normal struggles of a high schooler.  She isn’t the perfect hero, and that’s what really makes the comic fun to read.

  • Princeless, Vol. 1: Save Yourself

This comic was nominated for an Eisner award, and deals with sexism so bluntly through humor and illustrations that it is a must-read.  Adrienne Ashe is imprisoned in a tower on her sixteenth birthday to await being rescued by a prince.  Instead, she decides to take matters into her own hands.  She teams up with a blacksmith’s daughter and goes on an incredibly empowering mission.  Princeless made me laugh out loud and has well-developed characters that will stick with you.

It’s encouraging to see comics with strong female characters being written for young readers.  Many of these have also received positive attention or awards from critics.  Jeff Mace wrote, “Helping books with strong, fully-realized heroines reach the larger audiences they deserve strikes me as one very obvious way to [entertain without catering to the lowest common denominator]” (“Fan Jeff Mace Responds,” para. 27).  Hopefully with books such as the ones above, audiences will more easily find and come to expect these powerful, fleshed out characters.

References

Mace, J. (n.d.). Fan Jeff Mace responds. Retrieved from http://lby3.com/wir/r-jmace.html

Simone, G. (n.d.). Women in Refrigerators. Retrieved from http://lby3.com/wir/

Women in refrigerators. (2017, December 20). In Wikipedia. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_Refrigerators

Harley Quinn and Empowered Characters in Graphic Novels

by 1 Comment

Recently, I had a conversation about female characters in graphic novels with a friend.  She told me one of the young women who goes to her library loves Harley Quinn.  Harley Quinn is an interesting character, but as a favorite graphic novel character she leaves a lot to be desired, at least from my perspective.  Originally a therapist, Harley fell hard for the Joker over the course of their sessions at Arkham Asylum.  Their relationship casually examines issues of abuse, as Harley is constantly used and abused by the Joker.

Harley had a recent story arc where she and Deadpool dated.

Harley Quinn is a relatively new character to the DC Comics universe.  In 1992 she made her first appearance as a character in “Batman: The Animated Series.”  On the whole, Harley’s actions are driven largely by her obsession with the Joker.  She is without a doubt insane and comes across as a rather one-dimensional character.  Yet some superfans believe Harley Quinn is a feminist character.  Tara Strand, one such fan, wrote:
Feminism is about showing women as fully fleshed out human beings, and that’s what Harley is.  She doesn’t make choices that are smart or good for a woman, but she gets to make those choices. Men are allowed to be fuck-ups in all kinds of characters, and women aren’t. We have to be idealized. She gets to not be.
Personally, I understand how it might be fun to ride the crazy train with Harley Quinn once in a while, but I’d rather stick with characters who give me something to aspire to.  Make up your own mind about Harley, but the books that follow offer empowered female characters who are well-written and fun to follow.

Recommended Reads

  • Who Is Wonder Woman? –
    Even for readers who have never read any comics about Wonder Woman, this story is a great place to start.  The classic villains Giganta, Dr. Psycho, and Cheetah work together to try to bring Wonder Woman out of retirement and defeat her.  Wonder Woman grapples with identity issues, and trying to find a way to help people without causing harm, throughout this story arc.  Colorful illustrations add to the action in this surprisingly character-driven story.  My only recommendation with this collection is to skip the last issue.  Normally, I believe in reading a whole story, but the last issue is an annual issue, unnecessary to the story.  Its artwork is less compelling, and this was a let-down after the rest of the volume.

One of the best new graphic novels about Wonder Woman.

  • DC Comics Bombshells –
    Another colorfully illustrated story, Bombshells might seem a little far-fetched at first glance in a list of graphic novels about empowered women.  Despite its aesthetic based on 1940’s pin-up models, this graphic novel depicts an alternate history of World War II dominated by strong female superheroes.  Batwoman saved the Wayne family, Mera features more prominently than Aquaman, and even the few male characters are well written.  These comics are also written by a female team.  One of the writers, Marguerite Bennett, said about the artwork:

    I loved the design of [Batwoman when I first saw her] — she looked so capable and sly and brazen, all this lazy grace, like she could flirt with you or absolutely wreck you with her bat.

    The first issue, featuring Wonder Woman, Supergirl, and Batwoman on the cover.

    Beautiful yet deadly, these characters are fun to read about.

  • Captain Marvel and the Carol Corps –
    Kelly Sue DeConnick is a great writer in the world of comics, and this story is a new look at a great female superhero.  DeConnick wrote:

 I didn’t set out to write Carol as a “strong female.” There was none of this that entered my consciousness at all. I was just writing Carol as a person, and Carol is a heroine—someone who like Captain America stands up for what is just and protects those who can’t protect themselves.

Victor Von Doom is the god of this alternate universe, and the Carol Corps is faced with challenges when the women begin to learn that Von Doom has created a world of lies.  Captain Marvel and her squadron take on a secret mission to uncover the truth.

The first issue in a series about a close knit group of strong women.

These are just a few of the newest graphic novels that are well written and relate the stories of inspirational female superheroes.  My next post will look at women in graphic novels from a slightly different angle.  In the meantime, enjoy these recommendations.

References

Dietsch, T. J. (2015, October 2). Bombshells: An oral history of the DC collectibles line that exploded in popularity. Retrieved from http://www.cbr.com/bombshells-an-oral-history-of-the-dc-collectibles-line-that-exploded-in-popularity/

Riesman, A. (2015, February 17). The strange, hidden story of Harley Quinn and how she became the superhero world’s most successful woman. Retrieved from http://www.vulture.com/2014/12/harley-quinn-dc-comics-suicide-squad.html

Saraiya, S. (2015, November 18). “If you want to see ‘angry feminist,’ I will show it to you”: “Captain Marvel”writer opens up about the backlash against the new Carol Danvers. Retrieved from https://www.salon.com/2015/11/18/if_you_want_to_see_angry_feminist_i_will_show_it_to_you_captain_marvel_writer_opens_up_about_the_backlash_against_the_new_carol_danvers/

Book Problems

by 1 Comment

This week I hit a new high, or a new low, depending on how you look at it.  I have officially reached the hundred item limit for items checked out on my library card.  Astonishing, amazing, crazy, I know.  But you have to keep in mind that I work for the library.  I touch these books and DVDs every day.  I get recommendations from customers and coworkers on almost a daily basis.  I even have coworkers who go out of their way to put items on hold for me that they think I will be interested in.  Now can you understand?  Isn’t it amazing and a show of sheer strength of mind and willpower that I have only now, after two and a half years of working at the library, reached this limit?

The Key to Full Shelves (What has at other times been called the Key to the Universe.)
The Key to Full Shelves (What has at other times been called the Key to the Universe.)

The good news: already this weekend I have watched one of the movies I have checked out.  At this rate, I will have finished all the movies or shows I have checked out in about three weeks.  All the rest of the items I have checked out are books, but I assure you, I am reading four books at the moment.  I plan to finish at least two of those this weekend, so, yay!

I know, I know.  I have a problem.  I was doing so well, but then I was busy finding a new apartment, and after that applying to graduate school.  All the stress drove me to check out more and more books.  I have nonfiction books about people reading lots of books, I have dystopian novels, both for young adults and adults, I have travel memoirs, I have general fiction, I have children’s fiction, I have narrative nonfiction.

My Cat and My Library Books
My Cat and My Library Books

You, my dear readers, will be my path to redemption.  It embarrasses me to admit to you three people how many things I have checked out, and it will drive me to renew my efforts to clear my bookshelves.  (At least of the items I have checked out.  The books I own are another story.)  So over the next few months, you can expect to hear a lot about reading and not much else.  I will detail my herculean efforts to read page after page, until my eyes are crossed and bloodshot.  You will hear about the good books and the bad books, about the books for book club that interfere with my library book purge, and other thoughts of a library book addict.

(Yes, that is all I am writing in this blog post.  Do you honestly think I have time for this, while all these books are stacking up on my desk?  Consider yourself lucky to have heard from me at all.)

Reading, Finding an Apartment, and Life

by 2 Comments

Having just finished a grueling month of reading ten of the books I had checked out from the library, I think it might be time to reflect a little on the act of reading and some of its effects.  Particularly in the last few days, I have found myself feeling a certain way that I don’t completely understand.  Challenging myself to read a book every three days added immensely to the way the emotions and plots of books seeped into my everyday life, and I’m not sure it was a very good thing.

I was an English major at Colorado College, so I am used to reading a lot in a short amount of time.  The block plan, in which you have three and a half weeks of one class at a time and then it’s finished, allows you to focus on a subject, but you might find yourself too imbued in it to think straight about other things.  One particular time that I found myself going a little crazy from literature and the criticism of it was during my senior seminar.

Patrimony, a book I do not like.
Patrimony, a Book I Do Not Like

My senior seminar had the broad but intriguing focus of narratology.  Lots of unreliable narrators, discussions on how a story is put together, and a wide range of texts.  I remember one particular week during which I had to read Patrimony by Philip Roth and several literary analyses of horror films, along with another text.  The night I finished Patrimony, a book which I absolutely loathed, I cried and cried about the ending and the whole story and probably about not getting enough sleep, too.  When I went down to our apartment’s kitchen to make a late supper, my roommate Andi was there, and I started crying all over again when she asked me what I was upset about.  That alone might not sound too crazy, but the next night she scared me to death in the kitchen because I’d been reading about horror films.  Luckily, she understood that my senior seminar was fairly demanding, or I think my hysteria might have scared her off.

This month, I have been trying to find a new apartment, since my lease ends at the beginning of July.  That is a very important factor in this month of reading.  All my tension, nostalgia, sentimentality, and anger at people who try to scam you by saying they need a good tenant who loves God because they are moving from Prague to South Africa to be missionaries and cannot keep an eye on the property,  became wrapped up together and found their outlet in different ways depending on what I was reading.

A good book for people who like the idea of escaping.
A Book for People Who Like the Idea of Escaping

A week or two ago, a welcome escape came in the form of the nonfiction book Fakebook, which is a first-person account of how a man in his mid-twenties decided to make up a story on Facebook about leaving his job to travel the country.  I would recommend this story about Dave Cicirelli’s prank, which ended up inspiring people and causing Cicirelli to reevaluate what he himself wanted in life.  As a person with a sometimes frustrating job and no prospects for a place to live in July, I was hooked.  It made it easier to look for apartments during the day, because in the evening, I could go home and read this book.  I’d think, “Well, maybe I’ll just leave the country and go teach English in Eastern Europe if I can’t find a place.”

A recent children's book.
A Recent Children’s Book

The happy medium for this month of reading was The Mysterious Benedict Society.  I thought it was the best book I’ve read in a while, with a great writing style, amusing characters, and a story that is intelligent.  This book didn’t make me moody, or start crying, or think about running away.  It was a great escape just reading Stewart’s book.  I didn’t have any way of relating it to my own life, or envying the characters.  I just read it and enjoyed it.

For People Who Like Reading About a Lot of Weddings
For People Who Like Reading About a Lot of Weddings

On the bad end of the spectrum, I have for the past few days been reading Save the Date, by Jen Doll.  It is a nonfiction account of Doll’s experiences of some of the weddings she has been to in her life.  Reviews said it was a funny book, but to me it sounds almost preachy at times, and I think more than anything, I’m just not in the right mood for it now.  Feeling homeless and directionless doesn’t mesh well with sympathizing with a character who sounds a little worried about ending up alone.  She is also a little older than me, which rather than being comforting, has made me forget that I still have a lot of time to settle down in work and life.

Sometimes you read about a particular topic or learn something new, and then it seems to come up everywhere.  Every chapter in Jen Doll’s book is about a different wedding she attended and what she was experiencing at the time.  Seemingly everything I watch now is about marriage.  Yesterday I watched the movie Jesse and Celeste Forever,  which was great, but not entirely reassuring.  Then today I watched an episode of “Sherlock” which involved a wedding.  Unfortunately, sometimes even when you know why you are feeling a certain way, you can’t keep the crazy from coming out.  Even while I read Patrimony, I knew what I was sad about, but it still affected the way I saw other things.  With reading Save the Date, I knew I was in a strange mood, but it took me quite a while to figure out what was causing it, and then I still couldn’t help it.

Books are wonderful ways to escape, to see other perspectives, to experience different things in a way.  This month has reminded me, though, just how easy it can be to get swept up in the books you are reading and forget what you are really feeling and experiencing.  A book can amplify the feelings of distress or worry or happiness you already feel, or turn your mood around completely.  I think for the next month, I will focus on real things and read just a little bit less.  Or at least read happy books.

 

Bagels of Brainwash

by 1 Comment

It all started with celebrating birthdays at the library.  A seemingly nice, simple gesture that would happen once a month and would be an excuse for getting snacks.  That sounds fine, right?  Over the course of a number of months, however, I have found myself in the midst of a scene from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Insatiable!
Insatiable!

First, the celebrations were little.  We each contributed a dollar toward a snack that one of our coworkers would make.  For the first two months, they were cupcakes.  After that, we started singing happy birthday to the people whose birthday was that month.  Coincidentally, this began in the month of our supervisor’s birthday.  At that same time, we began getting bagels every month.  The same kinds of bagels, with the same spread– reduced fat plain cream cheese and honey almond spread.  Five months of this have passed, and I fear for the future of the minds of my coworkers.

Once we settled into the bagel tradition, prices went up.  One month it was $1.50, then the next it was up to $2.00.   The explanation for this was never clear.  The importance of the bagels too has gradually increased.  Now they are formally announced over the intercom, and this month there will be bagels on two separate days, since not everyone is there on the same day.

I should also mention the nature of bagel bonding.  After singing happy birthday, the conversation gets very unusual, and it is hard to predict where it might lead.  For instance, the woman who organizes the get-togethers asked our supervisor how old she was on her birthday.  She declined to answer, but then the woman asked her where she was raised.  Our supervisor, we’ll call her Peggy, said that she was born in one state but left the state right after she was born.  Upon further prying, it was revealed that she had been adopted.  Our organizer, Bobbi, said, “Oh, that must be why you’re in favor of adoption!”

In spite of the awkward conversation, people seem ever drawn to the bagels.  The participants seem to be spending more and more time in the staff room on these days.  The last two times we have had bagels, I have been saving all the change I have for laundry, and I’m not hungry because it’s right when I’ve just finished breakfast at home.  Luckily, I think I have escaped being brainwashed.  Today was a particularly suspicious bagel day.  I got upstairs a little late with one of my coworkers, unfortunately just after they had finished singing happy birthday.  We walked in, and a lady who has a birthday in April joked that we had to sing to them again.  That was all fine, but then Bobbi said, “Have a bagel.”

I said, “I’m not hungry right now, but thank you.”

She said, “There are plenty.  Come on, have a bagel.”

Again, I said no thanks, and she gave me a strange look.  I stayed upstairs for a little bit, and then went back downstairs to get some work done before we opened.

Later, everyone received an email:

“Hello everyone,

“It has come to my attention that people here are just not that into celebrating fellow co-workers’ birthdays.  I was hoping we could pull together as a team somehow and get closer, but it is not happening.  Only a select few are giving money for the bagels and not very many people are showing much interest.”

Do you trust these unnaturally shaped foods?
Do you trust these unnaturally shaped foods?

All of this leads me to question, what is in those bagels?  Bobbi is a coworker who has railed against anyone who seems not to be working as a part of a team.  She has been known to have somewhat passive aggressive reactions to some things.  I believe that the bagels are a part of her evil plan.  They may contain trace amounts of a substance that would make my coworkers more susceptible to Bobbi’s suggestions.  She will have her way with the biography section, and will be able to obtain donations for her favorite charities.  As in the show “Dollhouse,”  she has a phrase which strengthens her hypnotic power over others: “We are a team.  We need to work as a team.”
Who can say what will happen when the May birthdays arrive.  If I go missing or start acting unusual, at least this record will exist in order to begin a search for the truth.  I can only hope that my suspicions are wrong, and that I will live to see another birthday.

No More Yoga Mat Sandwiches For Me

by 1 Comment

A few weeks ago, Facebook and the news were overrun with stories about a blogger’s petition to have Subway remove azodicarbonamide from its bread.  Subway has responded saying they are already working toward removing the chemical from its products.  Azodicarbonamide is also found in shoe soles and yoga mats.  When used in breads, it serves as a bleaching agent, to eliminate the naturally yellowish color of the bread, or as a conditioning agent, to make the dough easier to work with.  The chemical is illegal in Australia, parts of Europe, and the United Kingdom.  So why is it still legal in the United States?

Subway's Bread Choices
Subway’s Bread Choices

Azodicarbonamide has been found to cause asthma and other respiratory problems when workers are exposed to it in large amounts.  The FDA insists that it is safe, as long as it constitutes less than 45 parts per million in products.  So perhaps it is true that the chemical, as it is presented to the public in a Subway sandwich, isn’t harmful.  Someone has to deal with the chemical in a purer form though, surely, in order to put it in the sandwiches.  In addition, what happened to making bread the old-fashioned way: sans plastic chemicals?

What bothered me most about hearing this story was that I have heard various people say that even though they are still eating out, at least Subway’s is a healthy choice.  Subway promotes itself with the motto “Eat Fresh,” and they have athletes in their advertising campaigns.  Yet it uses the same chemicals as other fast food joints.  How sad is it when we have to assume that bread is not just bread, a sandwich just a sandwich?  You may have caught me say “the same chemicals.”  Azodicarbonamide is not just a random ingredient used by Subway.  It is a widely accepted additive in certain breads at Wendy’s, Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, and McDonalds, among other places.  The bread doesn’t need to have this chemical added to it, though.  Since the additive is illegal in Europe, fast food chains there use a different recipe.  Even if the FDA won’t put its foot down where azodicarbonamide is concerned, a company could choose not to use this harmful substance.

Upon hearing about the Subway scandal, I felt like I should take this as a wake up call to eat out less often, and to try to know what I’m eating and where it comes from.  Little did I know that it was a run of the mill chemical in the food industry.  While my research hasn’t made me afraid to eat at Subway or other places, it has disgusted me.  Even with the known health risks this substance produces, the US still allows the use of azodicarbonamide.  How many other substances are in the foods and drinks we buy every day that the FDA knows could pose a health risk?  Some substances, such as the yellow dye that can be found in some Kraft products, are also illegal in other countries, and yet remain on the market here.

So last night, I came home and made French onion soup, as the beginning of an as yet undetermined period of time where I won’t eat out, or if I do, I’ll check what I’m eating.  This way I can have better control over what goes into my body, and I’ll be healthier, too.  The project may sound ambitious, and I may only last a few weeks before I go out for lunch during work, but I am too frustrated with the state of American fast food right now to just let it go.  We as people have to take charge and demand change.  We have to know what is in the things we eat, and care if we’re not getting food that is good for us.  Never mind what is organic, can we start with demanding nontoxic foods?

My information in this article came from ABC’s article (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/subway-takes-chemical-sandwich-bread-protest/story?id=22373414) and NBC’s (http://www.nbcnews.com/business/consumer/chemical-subway-ditched-mcdonalds-wendys-use-it-too-n25051).

It’s Still Christmas

by 1 Comment

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Yes, I said Merry Christmas.  Tonight is Twelfth Night.

Two days after Christmas, I said to a friend, “Merry Christmas!”  She looked at me like I was crazy, so I said, “Well today is only the third day of Christmas, after all.”

My friend, as it turned out, had been under the impression that the twelve days of Christmas culminate in Christmas Day.  It made me wonder how many people think that.  How many poor souls view Christmas Day itself as all the presents, food, and festivities you can have for the holidays?  No wonder people get so stressed out in December.  Aside from the overly materialized expression of Christmas which we have in the United States, people are trying to pack it all into one day (or maybe add in a little Christmas Eve fun).   In November, I watched an episode of Saturday Night Live where the Weekend Update with Mr. Senior talked about how Christmas comes too early.  I have to agree, but maybe people should try to draw it out a little, as well.  We could have a less burnt out, exhausted, stressful holiday, and maybe a little more holiday food.

A Rant About How Early Christmas Comes

Mr. Senior From Saturday Night Live
Mr. Senior From Saturday Night Live

Many of the days of Christmas are important saints’ days.  There are celebrations of Saint Thomas Beckett, Saint Stephen, and Saint Egwyn, among others.  In England in the Middle Ages, however, the Christmas season was largely an ongoing festivity, with a lot of food and drink.  We don’t have to celebrate the Catholic saints in order to honor the Twelve Days of Christmas.  Christmas Day doesn’t have to be immediately followed by gift-returns, post-holiday diets, or other great American traditions.  Maybe we could rekindle the Twelve Days of Christmas in order to diminish the stress and increase our happiness and fun with family and friends.

Comet the Reindeer with his miniature Christmas tree.
Comet the Reindeer with his miniature Christmas tree.

This Christmas, I have  been determined to watch one or two Christmas movies after Christmas Day.  I tell people “Merry Christmas” even though it’s January.  I have kept the lights up in our apartment windows, and left the Christmas tree up.  “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year,” as Ebenezer Scrooge said.  Or at least for the twelve days we’re meant to.  So Merry Christmas everyone, and welcome to 2014!

To Rome With Love

by 1 Comment

Woody Allen's Film
Woody Allen’s Film

A few weeks ago, I watched Woody Allen’s film To Rome With Love.  The movie follows a few different characters around the streets of Rome, in a grand, amusing love letter to the city itself.  There is the man who is an amazing opera singer in the comfort of his shower, an American woman and an Italian man who fall in love during her vacation there, and the middle-aged man who reflects on the summer he spent living in Rome, among other characters.  I would highly recommend watching the movie.  Partly, though, the movie was so enjoyable for me because I have been to Italy, and it was nice to see the same sights in the film.

There are a number of things I remember about my trip to Italy.  It was a five-day trip during my spring break while studying abroad, and I got to Italy after having spent two weeks all over other parts of Europe.  I met up with my British friend there, and we saw some of the sights in Florence, Pisa, and Rome.

I didn’t do any research about the places I was going on my vacation before I got there.  When I got to a new place on my trip, I would get a map from the hostel, and go from there.  I walked all over the cities I visited, and got lost a lot, but also I got to see unexpected things.  A Stradivarius on display, the quirky sculptures and outdoor art in Brussels, and the red light district in Amsterdam (which I accidentally visited even though I didn’t want to go there).  But there are cases when some research might have been good.  One story I have not fully related to anyone is my trip from the airport in Milan to Florence.

When I got to Milan, it was late at night, and I hadn’t booked a hostel, in the hopes that I could get a train to Florence to meet my friend.  Unfortunately, there were no more night trains running and the station was locked up for the night.  I tried to find a hostel that was open near the train station, but I couldn’t find one.  While wandering the streets, I came across two very drunk Italians who suggested I crash at their place.  I said I was meeting a friend and hurried back to the station, to sit in the well-lit area outside and read my book until dawn.  Fortunately, as I was sitting there, a policeman asked if I was waiting until morning to catch a train.  I said yes, and he told me there was no security in that  area, and he seemed worried about leaving me among the homeless people.  So he found someone to let me into the station to wait until dawn.  I sat and read my book, still worried about falling asleep, even though no one else was in the station.

Now, you may say, you should have reserved a room at a hostel, you should have researched when the trains stopped.  But here is the real issue.  In the morning, I went to look at train schedules, and couldn’t find a train to Florence.  How could that be?  Florence is a big enough place, and certainly a popular destination.  I waited an hour or so more, and finally went to the ticket booth to see what the problem was.  Being the uncouth American that I am, I hadn’t realized that Florence is not Florence in Italy at all, but rather Firenze.  It was a low point on my trip, but I was able to get a very slow train (no kidding, it took five and a half hours) and get on my way at last.

Firenze. Now I Know
Firenze. Now I Know

Italy for me was a country with great red wine, where I tried wild boar for dinner in Pisa, where the trains were late and incredibly slow, where I sometimes had gelato three times a day, and where no matter where we walked in Rome, there was some beautiful fountain to catch us by surprise.  The people were friendly and flirtatious, and the food was delicious.  Woody Allen’s Rome is a little different than the Rome I experienced, but for me, traveling abroad has that same feeling of romance that his movie had.  Even if you don’t know the name of the city you are going to, you know you’ll have an adventure.

A Life’s Work

by 1 Comment

To all my many fans, I apologize for my extended hiatus from the blog.  In the past few months, I got a second job at the library and finished working at the Acrapolis.  I also had a friend from college visit for a few weeks.  Of course, there was also plenty of housesitting to be done.  Even as I write, I find myself looking for the latest episode of “Castle” on Hulu.  Plus, I have about 75 books waiting to be read.  So yes, I’ve been incredibly busy.  But just for your sake, I will write a post.

What I Like Most About the Library
What I Like Most About the Library

My new job at the library is as a clerk.  It’s at the same library where I shelve, so I work forty hours now, and my schedule is surprisingly easy to keep track of.  What I have been most struck by since I began is how bitter some people get after having worked at this job for ten or fifteen years.

One of my coworkers, who has worked for the library for at least 16 years, gave me a run down over the course of a few days of the most common complaints I will get as a clerk.  His favorite refrain: “You’ll get people every day who say, ‘You must love this job!’  They think we just sit here and read books all day.  But people can be so stupid, and we have to put up with it.  Everyone thinks they’re our boss because they pay taxes.”  Why did he devote so much of his life to this job that just makes him angry and crotchety?

I can think of about four or five people off the top of my head who are equally disillusioned about working at the library.  Then there are about three or four of us who find ourselves worrying about becoming those people.  What I have always heard is to keep applying for jobs.  Even if you think you have the job of your dreams, keep applying.  You never know what might happen, or what jobs might come up.  If anything, being brought down by the complaints of embittered coworkers has made me remember this advice and appreciate it.  Maybe the library has good benefits, and you get paid holidays, but I will not get stuck at a job if it makes me that kind of person.

Albert Camus said, “A man’s work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.”  If we spend our lives in jobs we never get any pleasure from, we won’t feel fulfilled or live life to its fullest extent.  Our hearts won’t be used to their capacities.  We owe it to ourselves and the people around us to seek out those simple, powerful images that open our hearts.  So I will keep applying for jobs, and in the meantime, I’ll enjoy the one I have.

My Week in Housesitting

by 2 Comments

The main focus of my week has been housesitting.  So far this summer, I’ve spent about two and a half weeks housesitting for people, and by the end of the summer I will have spent roughly three more.  The actual jobs vary quite a bit, from just taking care of a few cats, to watering the plants every day and giving the dog its insulin shot on time, to taking the dog for two or three walks a day.  It’s all fun, and it feels like a vacation, where I have hours to read or watch movies, instead of socializing.  The problem is, I always have my other jobs, too.

There are undeniable benefits to housesitting, including not having to use the dryer in my apartment building, which doesn’t dry clothes.  It is one of the small miracles to take clothes out of the dryer and have them be warm and dry.  I get a chance to have pets for a little while, without having the long-term responsibilities getting pets involves.  Plus, they are already house trained.  When the vegetables in the garden ripen, I am given the task of eating them.  Cherry tomatoes fresh off the vine are the essence of summer.  Also, as I mentioned before, it’s a change of scenery, and a chance to read my book on the porch or just enjoy the quiet.

My laptop, my book, and a movie. Some of my entertainment for the week.
My laptop, my book, and a movie. Some of my entertainment for the week.

The good parts of housesitting make it worth it in any case, and I would never complain about a chance to sleep in late with a cat to cuddle up with, or a dog to talk to in the morning.  One of the odd side effects of housesitting, however, is the slight feeling of homelessness.  For instance, today I went back to my apartment to hang out with my roommates and eat supper.  Only no one was home, which made me immediately regret having forgotten my book.  I realized that the movies I had checked out from the library were at the house where I’m housesitting, and I couldn’t do the things I needed to do, because all the tools I needed in order to do them were at the house.  Luckily, a new addition to the apartment is the capacity to stream Netflix on our television.  After watching a movie, my roommates were still gone, so I cleaned my bathroom.  I’d been putting it off a little bit, but today there wasn’t anything else to do.  My roommates came back after that, but the afternoon reminded me how floating between two living situations can be discombobulating.

The only other bad part about housesitting is that my mind starts to really consider it a vacation.  I might stay up much later than I normally would watching a movie or reading a book.  For a while, I was convinced this was because my schedule was thrown off by the new scenery, but I’ve come to understand that my mind demands I make the most of my “vacation.”  I may be exhausted from work, and completely aware that I have work the next day, but while my body says it’s bedtime, my mind says, “Let’s do something fun!”  This is a particularly unfortunate situation when the presence of certain animals demands an earlier start in the morning than usual.  When I finish housesitting, I sometimes sleep for a luxurious ten or so hours the next night.

Of course, there is also the fact that I manage to creep myself out any time I spend a week alone, whether it is because I watched The Black Dahlia or because I just finished reading about the town of Derry in Stephen King’s 11/22/63.  But that’s another story.  Now I’m starting a load in the dryer and deciding whether to watch a show or read my book.  There’s so much time I still need to enjoy!

The Tending to and Uprooting of Sumacs

by Leave a Comment

There is an old Chinese proverb that says, “If you plant a sumac, you better like sumacs, because in ten minutes you’ll have fifty more.”  Or something to that effect.  This week at the Acrapolis, I approached the sumac invasion eagerly, at first.  It was a change, a chance to avoid painting or planting and it was a project that would last a few days, so I wouldn’t feel as though I would have to ask all the time what I should be working on.  After the first day and a half, though, the project grew old.  By the end of the week, I decided I would never plant a sumac, unless my life depended on it.

Sumac
One of the seemingly innocent seedlings.

One of the reasons I enjoyed working at the mansion at first was that it gave me a feeling of accomplishment.  My job right before the mansion was a position as a desk clerk at Econo Lodge.  It’s no understatement when I say there wasn’t enough to keep me busy for two hours in an average eight hour shift there.  Working at the mansion gave me concrete tasks to finish, and sometimes I had sore muscles to prove that I worked hard, too.  There is still an element to that, but I also find myself running out of topics for thought during the long hours of tasks such as taking out hundreds of sumac plants.

Around 9:45 the second day of hacking at sumacs and digging up their roots, I heard what at first sounded like a car in the distance braking too fast, squeaking on the asphalt.  Then I quickly realized that it was in fact the sound of the family opera singer practicing in the mansion.  She was good, but very loud.  Distractions like that can get you pretty far when the only other things are your sore shoulders and the shovel or mattock your arms mechanically wield.

While my mind ran through various topics this week— what would I do if I could play the guitar like Joe Walsh? how many hours would I be working this week? what would it be like to be the stripper I was reading about in Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper? isn’t foreshadowing overused in stories?— I remembered a dream I had last year in the spring.  At the time, I was still packing up all the things in the house.  I had moved into the basement, and was packing hundreds of boxes of books and papers.  In my dream, I was Harry Potter.  Presumptuous I know, but it was just a dream.  I had been demoted from the increased status I had earned from saving everyone and just generally being Harry Potter.  Everyone else had gone off to bigger and better things, but I had become more like Filch, forgotten and looked down on.  I didn’t have any magic anymore.  I just went to work every day and packed up box after box of clothes.  It was miserable.  At the end of the dream, I had to leave work to go to school, and on my way I realized I was still in my work clothes, and my jeans had a rip in the bottom.  I had no time to take a detour and stop somewhere to change, and I couldn’t go to school looking like that, so I looked both ways on the street and pulled down my jeans to change.  Right then, a  police car turned onto the street.  The cop noticed me right away, and put on the lights and came over to arrest me.  As you can see, the vast amount of stuff I had to pack was getting to me, along with a few other things.  The sense of doom I felt, and the exaggeration of the amount of clothes I would have to pack in the dream, mirrored the reality of my day job.  I felt like I might never finish packing up everything.

Physical labor has its benefits (a common comment upon hearing what I do for a living is, “At least you get a workout in at work.”), but it also leaves your mind with hours to wander.  I spent a good amount of time this past week listening to music on my phone.  I sing along part of the time, or find myself wondering things like, “Why crimson and clover?”  That, in fact, was such a pressing question that I looked it up.  According to Tommy James, he just woke up with the two words in his head.  They were supposedly two of his favorite words.  Once the question was answered, I went on to listen to “I Think We’re Alone Now.”  I have also spent entire hours making up hypothetical situations and acting them out in my head, complete with dialogue and facial expressions.

Sumacs
The withering fruits of my labor.

Thankfully, on Thursday afternoon I finally reached the end of the sumacs.  I dug out as many roots as I could, without completely uprooting all the soil for yards.  It couldn’t have ended too soon; by Wednesday I had decided that digging up sumacs could be a form of torture.  Particularly for a gardener.  One could send him out into an infested area to do his best, but maybe stop him just short of finishing the job.  Then put him in a room with a view of the grounds, so he is tortured by watching them all grow back.  Intermittently send him back out to try his hardest, ultimately failing.  Through rain and shine, quite literally, I had done my hardest to show those sumacs their place.  Working at the mansion can often start to resemble a unique form of solitary confinement, and it is only once a project is finished that you can regain your sanity and put it aside.

Everyday Heroes Sand Drywall Too

by 2 Comments

At the end of Mystery Men, when the team of ragtag superheroes has saved the day, they get interviewed by the newscast and say this:

“‘Excuse me, could I say something? I think we would all like this victory to go out to all the other guys, and I’m talking about the people in this city who are super good at their jobs but never get any credit. Like the lady in the DMV – that’s a rough job.’

‘To the people that remember jingles from tons of old commercials.’

‘And uh, uh, people that support local music and seek out independent film.’

‘And the guy that drives the snow-plow. And the school nurse, that’s a…’

‘Eddie, Eddie, I think they got the point.'”

While it’s memorable for being funny, this quote stayed with me for a different reason after having watched the movie for the first time a few weeks ago.  It made me feel vindicated and sufficiently thanked for my work at the mansion.

The Acrapolis
The Acrapolis

This past week, I spent a lot of time in the three by two foot floor space of the entry way to one of the apartments in the mansion.  I sanded drywall compound, primed the walls and ceiling, and painted.  During that time, I probably listened to “Crimson and Clover” at least fifteen times and sang along to all kinds of songs from the 1960s.  So it wasn’t all bad by any means.  The only difficult part was not being able to find anything in the garage, so I used a worn down sanding block and didn’t have safety glasses.

During one of the days, the youngest son of the house owner began a conversation with me about college extracurricular activities.  At the age of 17 or 18, he is the black sheep of the family, in part because he is attending college late.  On the bright side, he was just accepted to be a part of a national debate team.  He asked me what extracurricular activities I had done, and I told him I was in choir, took voice lessons, and once put together a basketball team, primarily made of people who hadn’t really played the sport before.

It was at this point in the conversation that he said something very telling: “And you went to Metro State, right?  And majored in library sciences?”

I’m sure Metropolitan State is a great school, and I have heard some good things about it.  But in point of fact I went to Colorado College.  It isn’t a state school, and the tuition proves it.  Even though a lot of people from Colorado haven’t even heard of it, and some people ask if CC stands for community college, Colorado College is in fact a renowned liberal arts school.  I also studied not library sciences, but English.  When I said these things, he suddenly became more interested in me, and his esteem for me visibly increased.

The Shoveler
The Shoveler

I like working with my hands at the mansion, being able to see the effects of my work.  Even so, there are times that I’d like to be able to quote Mystery Men to the homeowners.  Or even say something as silly as, “Lucille, God gave me a gift.  I shovel well.  I shovel very well,” like the Shoveler says to his wife.  I’d like credit for supporting local music, or picking up the dog poop in the basement of the mansion, or doing a bang up job at drywall sanding.  Where we went to college shouldn’t be important in deciding what we think of a person, nor should we be able to treat people any worse for whatever job they might have.  I work hard, and yes, I’m pretty good with a shovel. 

 

Frau Blucher Comes To the Acrapolis

by Leave a Comment

For those of you who have seen Young Frankenstein, the name Frau Blucher will bring to mind Cloris Leachman at her oddest and eeriest.  She plays the housekeeper and former girlfriend of Doctor Victor Frankenstein.  Her hair is done up in a strict bun, and her clothes are old-fashioned, even though the movie takes place during the twentieth century.  Every time her name is said, the horses neigh, and she has an unsettling presence.  Keep this in mind when I tell you that I met the real-world version of Frau Blucher while working at the Acrapolis one day.

Frau Blucher
Frau Blucher

It was a sunny day in the summer of 2012 when Frau Blucher came to visit.  Patrick, my coworker, and I were upstairs in one of the apartments in the mansion.  I was outside on the roof sanding the exterior of the windowpanes, when I heard what I thought might have been a knock.  I turned off the sander and stood for a moment, waiting to hear something.  I decided I had just heard Patrick moving in the apartment and went back to sanding.  Suddenly, Frau Blucher was knocking on the window in front of me.  It scared me half to death.

Frau Blucher was dressed in a bright blue shirt and denim capris.  She had on a turquoise necklace and her eyes were a striking, startling blue.  She carried in each arm a miniature dachshund, to which she occasionally addressed herself.  Her hair was the color of gray which I had always presumed Frau Blucher’s was.  This woman introduced herself and began to explain how she had ended up inside, on the second floor of a strange house: “I knocked on the door and no one answered, but it was unlocked so I let myself in to see if anyone was around.”

Over the course of the next ten minutes or so, she explained to me her connection to the house, or lack thereof.  “I saw this house first a few years ago when I was taking my dogs for a walk, and I went back to look for it, but I could never find it until today.  When I saw it, I wanted to come talk to the owners.  You really need a caretaker here.”  In spite of her apparent attraction to the house’s exterior, it seemed clear that she saw it as a rundown place and wanted to let us know that it obviously was in need of more care.  She also explained that she wasn’t from around here.  In fact, she was just visiting from Wyoming.  When she found out that our boss wasn’t there, she asked for his contact information and Patrick took her over to talk to him.  As I recall, by far the most memorable part of the experience was that someone would feel comfortable walking into a stranger’s house, and bring her dogs with her.  Her appearance and the eeriness of the encounter were so like what I imagine meeting Frau Blucher would be.

After talking to our boss for half an hour or so, Frau Blucher left.  I haven’t seen her since, so maybe she lost the mansion again, or found the duties of a caretaker at the Acrapolis too daunting to face.  The mansion attracts an interesting sort of person.  People come to the house looking for work or a place to live, and stay to chat.  Of all the people I’ve met there, though, Frau Blucher was the most peculiar.  Cloris Leachman will forever seem like a personal acquaintance to me.

Exhibit Resetter By Night

by 1 Comment

Aside from my jobs, I also volunteer at the history museum.  I go twice a month and act as an exhibit resetter, which means I mess up the puzzles, put cards, toys, and kitchen utensils back in their spots, and most of all fill up the egg sorter.  The egg sorter is a testy, yet useful machine designed to drop eggs down into fake chicken nests when its motion sensors are activated.  As a resetter, my primary job is to carry buckets full of these eggs from the general store to the barn and load them in the sorter.  This is the most popular part of the whole museum, as far as I know.  Nearly every day I volunteer, I see at least a few children become enthralled by it, and go back and forth between the barn and the general store for at least an hour.  Nearby their parents say, “Ok, just one more time, don’t you want to see something else?”

I enjoy volunteering there.  I get to see the new exhibits for free, play with children, and watch for the moment when they, or their parents, say, “Wow, this is so cool!”  As I said though, the egg sorter is a testy machine, and the last time I was there, it stopped working altogether.  Even so, I could manually operate it from the back or front load the nests when no one was around.  Today was my first day volunteering since we have only been able to front load the nests.  It made me appreciate even balky machinery.

Largely, the afternoon was quiet.  There were quite a few people, but only a few children every once in a while, so it was easy to keep up the illusion that the chickens lay the eggs.  Then one of the employees went to lunch, and I checked in the lobby every once in a while to greet people and show them where to go and answer questions.  Around this time, about five girls and one little boy became hypnotized by the eggs and the general store.  First of all, they were so busy in the general store that it became difficult to get to the counter to take out the eggs.  Then they had sentries posted to alert the others of incoming eggs.  I had thought at first that the little redheaded boy was an innocent, cute child.  He was in reality a sleeper agent, sitting calmly by the nests, waiting for eggs to fall down, acting shy.  The moment I tried to reload the nests he called out for the others and they swarmed in and practically had their hands in the nest boxes as I was putting the eggs in.

It didn’t matter how sneaky I was; because there were so many children, it was impossible to reload the nests without drawing attention to myself.  Whether it was the girl who spoke really loudly, or the little girl who was lightning fast at getting the others, I was always too slow.  The problem was, I kept giving up and then waiting and waiting and seeing another opportunity to try.  Just to be caught in their trap.  When my shift ended, I talked to the staff member in charge, who already knew how it was going and was going to take over for the last hour of the day.  She said, “I already told them it’ll be a while before more eggs come.”  Then she added in an evil voice, “They’re going to miss you,” followed by a quietly devious laugh.  I would be ecstatic to find that the egg sorter has been fixed when I next volunteer.  Until then, round one goes to the spry little children.  I must hone my ninja egg placer skills in preparation for our next encounter.

The Perks of Working At a Library

by 3 Comments

Simply put, you get to check out a lot of books and you aren’t charged late fees (with the understanding, of course, not to abuse this power).  Too good to be true?  Maybe.  But you also aren’t very highly paid.  I would argue that less restrictions coming in the way of my love of books may be worth it.  My roommate would say that I need to come to terms with my addiction to books.  That concept in itself is funny to me, having been raised with a deep love of books and a desire to have lots of them.  I thought everyone believed it was nice to have as many shelves full of books as possible.

Books
A few of the books I plan to read soon.

This makes it sound as though I was a poor, deprived child, but for a very short time my sister and I, when we were in elementary school, would even play dolls with books.  Each book would be a character in a family.  So for instance, if I was reading a Hardy Boys book, that would be the son, with a certain character to match, perhaps named Joe.  We had books to make walls for the house, too.  That didn’t last long, but I sometimes think about it still, and how much fun it seemed.  In retrospect, it’s a little eccentric, but I think it felt natural to give the books personas, because they were so important and real to me.

I am the sort of person who, even as I read my homework in college for my English classes, would gasp or cry out when I really got into a book. It would sometimes get to the point where my roommate, not jokingly, would ask me to please be more quiet.  In college, I had a job at the campus library through my work study, and I decided that would be something I would be interested in doing after college.  So I got a job working for another one, this time a public branch library.  Since then, I’ve been happily shelving books, and not so eagerly getting asked on dates by volunteers and customers.  I have even had someone tell me their interest in me is such that they would like to adopt me as a niece figure.  The best moments come when I have more carts to shelve than there is time, and I can think about books and life while alphabetizing automatically.

It only seems fair that I give you my number now, so you can understand how seriously I take books, or how big my problem is.  I have 73 items checked out at the moment.  Keep in mind, before you judge me, that does include magazines and DVDs.  This week, I’m house sitting, which means during the time I’m not at work, I am spending most of my time reading.  From Firmin, a book from a rat’s perspective which takes place right before Scollay Square was razed, to Hoax Hunters, a comic about a reality show team investigating the inexplicable, to An Abundance of Katherines, about a child prodigy who just graduated from high school and has only dated girls named Katherine, I am thoroughly enjoying this time with books for company.  The best summers include a good book, or ten.